selfish

i have realized today that i am a selfish person.
which really should not have come as a shock to me.
i came out of the womb selfish and i will return to my casket selfish.
cherry thoughts, no?

anyways- the reason i came to this observation is because my dorm on campus is currently out of hot water. until sunday.
now i was prepared to hunker down and out last the freezing temperatures (read: 70 degrees) and not bathe until i had to (read: until someone forced me to).
but today, i gave in.

as i turned on the ice water in the shower, i had to remind myself that millions of people deal with these kind of conditions everyday. in fact, some may not be as fortunate as i to even have the chance to shower.
a friend reminded me of this just today. she returned from kenya a few weeks ago and took freezing showers for a week straight.
she said that she had to "pump herself up" before diving in. all the while reminding herself that she was more overjoyed to be with the hundreds of kenyan children that hadnt showered than she was worried about the cold bath temperatures.

that made alot of sense. who do i think i am? this picky college student who would rather have my steaming hot (i'm talking scalding) showers or no shower at all. who do i think i am? eating the select foods in the caf and tossing the rest when i am done. who do i think i am? getting crunchy almond butter at the store over regular peanut butter. who do i think i am? picking and choosing my way through the riches of my life.

so.
i counted to 3 and tossed my selfish little body into the shower.
it was a cold wake up call.
but one that was sorely needed.