On Hope, and Small Beginnings.

This all started with Jamie, an incredible roommate and friend, who got me thinking about hope and all kinds of other things after reading her blog.

You see, Little Sister and I are very hopeful about this new year. My family is hopeful about this new year. Yet, in the midst of so much hopefulness, I've struggled to determine where the foundation of that hope rests.

Like last night, my friend Donna asked me, "What if your circumstances never change, Emily? What if your Dad never makes a full recovery? What if you carry this pain forever?" I deemed that to be a largely hopeless situation. Donna gently, oh so gently, reminded me that my hope should never rest in the improvement of my circumstances. My hope should rest in the unchanging, loving character of God.

I found these verses, in an e-mail from another friend, to be quite timely:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11-13

From of old no one has heard or perceived by the ear, no eye has seen a God besides you, who acts for those who wait for him.
Isaiah 64:4

And then another timely e-mail; this one forwarded from Dad:

The Greatness of Small Beginnings
Getting Started Toward a Goal Makes All the Difference
M. Blaine Smith

"Consider for a moment dreams or goals you've had that have been realized. Think back on those accomplishments or successful experiences that are the most meaningful for you to remember. I'm willing to guess that more than one of them had a rather tentative, inglorious start.

Such small first steps might include:

An awkward first visit to a church singles group, which led to meeting the person you married.

A hesitant phone call to ask someone out, or to inquire about a job opportunity, which received a much more positive response than you expected.

An application for a grant, written with a sense of futility, thinking you'd probably be better off spending your time doing something else. Yet to your astonishment, the grant was given, and significant doors have now opened through that one effort.

A business venture begun with a paltry investment that succeeded far beyond your expectations.

A book, picked up in a time of discouragement, which inspired you and gave you the perspective to pursue a personal dream.

A reconciled relationship, now going strong, which began with a simple request for forgiveness.

With the eyes of hindsight, we look back to such starting efforts with awe and gratitude. We realize there was greatness in that moment of small beginning that we didn't begin to appreciate at the time. We may shudder, too, to think of how close we came to not taking that one initial step that opened such important doors."

I've been thinking about all these things- hope and small beginnings and circumstances that may never change. And, I don't exactly know how they all fit together. But I'm comforted that hope is a good thing, maybe the best thing, to paraphrase a quote from The Shawshank Redemption. I'm comforted that complete understanding isn't required, and in the morning so many troubling questions will finally be answered. And, I'm hopeful about 2009. Hopeful even though circumstances may not change... but then again, neither will He.

Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word. 2 Thessalonians 2:16, 17

I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams.

I hope.

Red, The Shawshank Redemption